The ground was prepared and the enenmy softened up with a dose of chemical warfare on Tuesday. Yesterday was a thorough briefing session at the Dunedin Public Hospital. At 0930 hours today the commandos go in through the femeral artery to lay their nuclear charges in the live. Rcconnassence has already noted the precise position of the metastases for this full-on assault. The body’s defences have been prepared with Omeprazole (stomach), dexamethazone and tropisitron. Private Panadol has been stood down for the day. If all goes as planned we should have left the front by this evening and be safely back at home resting up.
The airforce is standing by to give prayer-cover.
All is in readiness.