Category Archives: Devotional

I enjoy biographies of great people and great Christians but biographies have their limitations. I find there is a tendency to compare oneself unfavourably with those written about. We can begin to feel our own lives are very mundane: we seem to fall short  by comparison. They seem like giants, we seem like dwarfs.

I was musing on this one day when it seemed like the Lord said, “Is it a competition?” To whom do we compare ourselves in our acts of Christian service? And don’t tell me we don’t. We are continually assessing people, often unconsciously, and grading them according to our “good Christian” criteria. Are we looking at the stars or the quiet saints in the pews?

When I became quite unwell in Hanmer Springs a few weekends ago, an elderly couple who are very dear friends offered to drive us back to Nelson. The man and his wife both have slow-growing cancers, diabetes, joint problems and other physical ailments that they do not let inhibit their loving actions. They were prepared to make the four hour trip and then drive straight back to Hanmer Springs. I was humbled by this example of God’s love. They probably won’t have a book written about them, but their lives are a revelation of quiet, faithful, unsung service to God and His people.

There is a verse in the Bible that tells us to “cast all your care on Him for He cares for you”

In my long trek through ‘the valley of the shadow of death’ there have been many ‘blah’ days. These are days of overwhelming feelings of lethargy: it is hard to get out of bed; I look at the cupboard and try to muster up enough energy to have breakfast; I feel light headed and fidgety; I can’t focus to do anything constructive; even watching a favourite programme on TV seems absolutely pointless and I am unable to endure more than a few minutes of it; I lie down but  sleep mocks me; I can only concentrate long enough to read a light magazine article and even making the choice of which article to read is hard work.

When I try to sleep I am jostled by anxious thoughts about all the things I should be doing: I can see the trees that need spraying; the bird cage that needs cleaning; the jobs Bronwen is having to do that I should be doing; the letters and emails that need answering; etc, etc. I know we are not meant to ‘sweat the small stuff’ but when the battle is in the mind, that comment is a platitude!

At such times I have found I must consciously roll my anxieties onto God – one by one. New Age vacant mind meditation is absurd. Internalised ‘mindfulness meditation’ that focuses on the pain or the problem and rides it like a wave is also pointless. Only God, who knows the number of our days and underwrites our yesterdays, todays and tomorrows, is able to calm the mind and help get things into perspective. Only an eternal perspective can make the present pain and earthly duties reduce to a non-threatening size. Praying to a real Person who has the world in His hands, who holds the atom together, and who has my name engraved on His palms, brings practical relief and sleep.

I had a very bad blah day on Sunday. Even though I went to church I could barely sit through a service I would normally enjoy. As I finally made it to the night hours and lay in my bed, I wondered if, when we see Jesus and discover the history of His providential care throughout the course of our lives, we will wonder why we did not rest and trust Him more this side of death.

“Cast all your care on Him”. (1 Peter 5:7) It’s almost like saying, “Why have a dog, and bark yourself?”

It is impossible to personally thank all those who are upholding Bronwen and I in prayer. Some of the churches we have attended in recent months have made a point of laying hands on us in their services as they prayed. We know many other churches and individuals who also uphold us. Every so often I get emails or messages from people telling me they attended a church that we have never heard of and that we had been included in their intercessory prayers. It is a great comfort in the hard times to know the prayerful support of God’s people.

I have met people who worry if they hear someone admit they have cancer. It as if somehow the cancer is given legitimacy if it is acknowledged.

Having cancer is a fact that must be acknowledged before it can be dealt with it. It does not go away by denying its existence. I acknowledge that I have cancer in my body. That is a fact. What I do not accept though is its legitimacy to be there.

I also acknowledge that a fact is less than a truth. And the truth for me is that God is able to remove any disease, including cancer, from anyone’s body, irrespective of what medical science can or cannot do.

Some people are so superstitious in their fear of death that they don’t like even saying the word and instead refer to “the big C”. Well, friends, for me the big C is Christ, not cancer. And He knew the number of my days before I was born (Psalm 139). No cancer will cheat Him of fulfilling His purposes in and through me before those days have been fulfilled.

Even though I enjoy the relationship I have with God in the midst of all the suffering that’s accompanied the past 15 months, I have not always kept a brave face. Bronwen has been excellent at massaging me with words of hope and realistic encouragement. Sometimes though, God steps in directly.

The day before Christmas Eve I was feeling particularly low and frustrated at the slow rate of healing. I was moaning to Bronwen about the situation when there was a knock on the door. I went to see who it was and it turned out to be a Pastor I’d known in another city many years ago. He happened to be in Nelson and after recovering from a ‘breakdown’ a couple of years previously had recently suffered two slight strokes. He had heard I was living in Nelson and wanted to find me in the hope that I might be able to lift his spirits!

The irony of it!  The timing of it!  God knows how to kick you in the seat of your pants.

I ushered my former friend in and we had a great old chat. I was able to share things I’d been reluctant to acknowledge of the Lord’s dealings with me. We were both uplifted to the point that we ended up in the family room with him playing the piano and he, I, and my grandson Abe, having a ‘song-song’ of children’s songs and the great songs of Zion. We all went away from the encounter better than we’d entered it.

Moral: If you are feeling down, the best way out of it is to find someone whom you can encourage, not by talking about your own woes, but by finding and discussing some positives in their situation.

This is not the first time the Lord has intervened like that when I’ve been starting to ‘enjoy ill health’. I should be learning by now.

You’ve no doubt heard the saying, “I complained I had not shoes until I met a man who had no feet.”

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been struggling with the pain and changes to my life as a result of the recent surgery. I’ve looked forward to a day when I can wake up feeling ‘normal’.

This morning on Sine TV I watched the BBC Songs of Praise. The programme came  from Ireland and commemorated Mothering Sunday. It included an interview with a lady who had just had her first baby. Nothing remarkable in that, except that when she was a toddler, this lady was pulled barely alive from a burning vehicle. She lost more than 75% of her skin and has endured more than 20 years of operations and pain. The surgeons have reconstructed her face and fingers. She has a wonderful husband and has given birth to a lovely child. It was humbling to hear of her physical struggles, wrestling with her faith and her realisation that God has been with her all the way.

It also made me realise how much I have to be grateful for. I have been in pain, but nothing like hers or many others like her. It made me feel ashamed that I have complained of my lot.

The apostle Paul tells us to give thanks for everything (Ephesians 5:20) and in everything. It is sad that it takes someone in a worse situation to remind us how little we have to complain of. Nothing can separate us from the love of God …