Category Archives: Humor

If so, you must buy or hire a copy of the DVD “Jonna’s Body, please hold” to share with them. It is poignant, relevant and funny. It is described as a “cancerous dark comedy”. Jonna Tomases is a triple cancer survivor and she performs a one person play in which the various organs of the body call in to “telephone central” as her body reacts to both cancer and the treatment. Jonna recently visited NZ and performed her award-winning play in Auckland, Wellington and Nelson with all the proceeds from ticket sales going to the Cancer Society.

The review of the Wellington show can be seen on the NZ Theatre Review site. Bronwen and I went to the show and we both laughed and cried as we related to various incidents and comments. It will buck anyone’s spirits up. We were so impressed that we bought an extra copy of the DVD and donated it to the Christchurch Cancer Society Jonna did not visit that city so they missed out.

Now that I am having daily radiation therapy, I find myself remembering the DVD version (which has numerous characters playing the parts of the body). As I lie on the table with the machine buzzing its rays into the affected area, I like to think I can hear those rogue cells screaming at the bombardment and cursing their fate. All the time I think to myself, “Die you rogue cells, die”. Other names for these ‘motherless children cells’ come to mind but I prefer not to use them!

Visit Jonna Tomases’ site. She is an amazing woman and the movie version of her show has won numerous awards. Get a group of cancer sufferers and survivors around and have a group viewing in your house. They will be glad you did and you will make some wonderful friends out of it.

The other evening we had take-away food for dinner. At the end of her meal Rebekah discussed with Abe and Phoebe how they were enjoying their food. Both Abe and Phoebe had the same food that was different to what Rebekah had eaten. She asked if she could have a taste of their food. Abe shook his head but Phoebe, in her usual kind-hearted way, offered a piece of her food to her mother. Becky gratefully took a large bite and handed the rest back to Phoebe. Before Becky could ask Abe for a bite of his food he stated, “And mine tastes just the same, Mum!”

The rest of us broke up with laughter.

Last Thursday I had my latest CT scan in Christchurch as part of the followup for the SIRFLOX trial I am on. The review of the results was at Christchurch hospital with the Oncologist and the Research Nurse. Imagine my surprise when Bronwen and I arrived in the waiting room to be greeted by our research nurse who gave us both a huge hug and referred to me as their ‘star’ patient! She kept us in suspense though, telling us she would say no more but let the Oncologist discuss the results with us. I was content with just the cuddle at that stage!

A religious man discovers that he has testicular cancer, and decides to pray for a miracle. 

The next day he visits a urologist, who tells him he must have surgery immediately. He tells the doctor “I do not want you to remove my testicle, I am praying for a miracle from God”. 

Then he visits a radiologist, who tells him that he must begin radiation therapy immediately. He tells the doctor “I do not want you to expose my body to radiation, I am putting my faith in God.” 

Finally he visits an oncologist, who tells him that he must start chemotherapy immediately. He tells the doctor “I do not want you to inject me with caustic chemicals, God will heal me.” 

A few months later he dies and goes to heaven, where he is very upset and asks God why he didn’t give him a miracle. God replies “I gave you three miracles, a urologist, an oncologist and a radiologist, but you chose to ignore them.”

I thank God for His many agents of healing, and whether its through them or by some other means, I’m still praying for a miracle.

8 days ago I was cursing a nosebleed where I lost 200ml blood due to low platelets. That meant my chemo appointment had to be delayed till yesterday (Friday).

Last night I had another small nosebleed at 4am during which I discovered there were prowlers around our back fence, car and the church. I turned the outside light on and went out in my underwear shorts – that was their first fright! They retreated to the village green over the road and started vandalising signs and things. I followed at a discreet distance and took some long range photos. The flash going off was their second fright – fortunately they could not tell where they were coming from but they imagined they’d been captured on film. I then came inside and dialled 111 (something I should have done first) but was able to give a good description. The police turned up about 10 min later when everything was quiet so I don’t know if they got the guys. If they did, then that would be their third fright.

Nosebleeds can be a blessing!