More waiting – and mind games!

After seeing the Christchurch Oncologist on 8th January and being transferred to the Nelson Public Hospital Oncologist, I have finally been given an appointment to see the local specialist – February 16th.

Once again we play the waiting game. Speaking to other cancer sufferers, they agree that this phase can be the toughest to endure. Six weeks from CT scan to appointment to just discuss (not begin) treatment! What are the metastases doing in the meantime? How can we plan our year to include visits to family and treatment? The mind games require great discipline to deal with. We have to constantly remind ourselves that our futures lie in the hands of God, not the medical profession.

The Years of the Sparrow excerpt

Oh my God, I feel so alone;
The night is so cold, and I can’t see ahead
And my strength is almost gone.
Where is the joy I knew when My faith was fresh and young?
So dark! Are You there? How have I sinned? What’s wrong?
Rend the heavens and speak again.
— Light in my Long Night